Social
2003

Beck goes to New Zealand

In association with Derbyshire Lloyd Ventures, BECK. Productions presents

BOB'S BOARDSHORTS BASH

You may have all heard the nasty rumours that I am leaving these fair shores for the summer. Since I am going for a substantial amount of time (3 months) it is very important to me that we fit in one last drinking session . . . .

As you may have guessed by the title, I have a plan, to create world domination with board shorts (no I haven't been drinking, I'm like this when I'm sober too). Therefore it would be really cool if everyone could wear some boardies, however I will take bribes (particularly partial to alcoholic ones) and reasonable excuses as to them not being worn. Due to my sensational dress code I figured we would need a venue that would cope with this, the best I could come up with is the Ed in Mitcham - very good garden area (even a fountain). If anyone has other ideas feel free to tell me - this is as casual as the attire.

Now, I have my last exam on Friday 28th November, I fly out Saturday 29th November. I am sure the very understanding ex-Ansett workers won't mind if I haven't been to sleep or am not in the least bit sober. This means after I get home from my exam, pack for the summer and welcome Max and Greg back to their house, it will be drinking time. So Friday say 6pm onwards rock up to the Ed to make sure you are free of me for the summer, or if you actually feel like partaking in a nice tasty beverage with me, then come on down!

If anyone is keen on eating there, get back to me with numbers and a time that would best suit you by say, mid next week and I will sort it. I'm not really fussed - as a wise Evans once told me "eating is cheating Bob" 

Now I will leave you with a quote I saw outside a north Adelaide flower shop today "reality is an illusion brought on by lack of alcohol"

... Beck Derbyshire-Lloyd 

Coming events

SARU Presentation Dinner Wednesday 9th Sept Anyone interested in going should contact Ted Apted or Sue Thewlis 

Old Collegians Open Golf 1st February 2004 - $60 includes golf and lunch and on course drinks. Start planning now … Sponsored by Pro-Time Business Solutions Pty Ltd 

CRICKET 
  Are you wanting to maintain the links with the Club over the break? Do you love your cricket? Then why not play with the Old Colls Cricket Team during the summer break from Rugby. 
  We need at least 20 (preferably 25) interested bodies. Why so many? well that allows the club to field a team when many might be away on a particular weekend or you might have something else on for any given day; so it allows much more flexibility. That way we can cater for those potential Pontings, Lehmanns or Shane Warnes (forget the performance enhancing substances) who are fanatical about their cricket or those who just want a bit of a slash & hit on a Saturday Arvo! Please see Mick Renfrey, Jesse James or Hamish Crenna ASAP so we can organise the Team and sort out the 

SA RUGBY MITSUBISHI OUTLANDER OUTBACK BALL FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24 A Black tie function at the Entertainment Centre to welcome to RWC to Adelaide. |
$120/head Further details available soon. 

Presentation Dinner Friday, 26th September 2002 at the clubrooms 
Happy Hour from 5.55pm to 6.55pm 
Seated by 7pm Tickets $30 each (entry and meal) 
Dress: Dinner suit/Formal (optional) 
Contact your team manager/ the club for tickets – numbers must be pre-booked for catering purposes 

Junior Presentation Day, Sunday 19th October At Tregenza, from noon – BYO lunch and drinks, BBQ facilities available 
Presentations at 2pm 

Paul & Ginny's Divorce Party - Friday 17th October at the Astor Hotel.  Bar food provided.  
Not so much a celebration but a recognition that these things happen, that we've maintained our friendship and that you can end up with an intact sense of humour at the end of it.  Please come over and share a few drinks with us. 

MAKE SURE YOU MAKE IT TO THE FINALS TO SUPPORT THE OLD COLLEGIANS

And don’t forget that the Clubrooms are open every Saturday night from 6pm – join in the finals atmosphere!

Miss College 2003 - The Night

  The “Ms College” Pageant graced the clubrooms again on 30 August. The 2003 contestants were Andre Brummer, Bren Sinnott, Dean Bradley, Joel Fudali, Julian Auble, Paul Horne, Scott Andrews, Shane Clark and Tim Williams. Graham Raymond was MC, and the judges were Meara Curran, Tiana Hume and Ben Suttell (in drag, of course). The “ladies” excelled themselves this year, taking the whole process much more seriously than is healthy. As usual, there was a ridiculous commitment to the removal of body hair.

  Andre shaved most of his body (for some reason omitting his forearms), Joel preferred to wax, and Tim relied on hair removal mousse. Paul Horne acquired a professional drag queen to help with his hair and makeup (with truly terrifying results) and Tim and Dean spent some anxious minutes before the show convincing Kim that she had to rebuild the stage to give them a long enough catwalk for their routines. 

 The first category was work/sports, and we were treated to a parade of two aerobic instructors, a hula dancer, a ballerina, a school mistress, a netballer, a prostitute, a cheerleader and a Bo-Peep style shepherdess. Dean Bradley won this category hands down, as a very long legged and slightly slutty netballer. The second category was evening dress, and was a very close competition across all the contestants. Special mention should be made of Shane Clark in his slinky black mini. 

  The “personality” category was won hands down by Joel. Graham asked him what he’d do if he could have 3 wishes. Joel’s first wish was to take Graham home with him (of course). His second wish was “world peace”. At this point we should note that Nick Malone had been excitedly jumping up and down in his seat all night shouting “show us your tits”. Joel’s third wish, and indeed the wish of many of us, was to have Nick Malone removed from the building. 
  The lingerie category was, as always, “stunning”. Shane Clark, for example, looked like a potential winner right up until we saw him in his green bikini. The hairy stomach may have been the problem. Tim Williams eclipsed competition in this category in his full bridal corset, stockings and veil (courtesy of Liz of the Frocs). 
  He scored 29 out of a possible total of 30 on this category (getting the only two "10s" awarded in the competition). 

  Ultimately, Timmy won by the narrowest of margins. Dean Bradley was runner up and also won “Ms Popularity” on the crowd vote. Third place went to Joel Fudali, who many felt had been robbed. The top four or five contestants were separated by a mere handful of points. 

  Photos and video will be around the club from time to time for your viewing pleasure(?). 

  Ian Walker won the Calcutta, taking away $340 for his mere investment of $22 for “buying” Tim Williams. 

  After it was all over, the lads romped about in women’s underwear for a good deal longer than necessary, relentlessly singing the club song over and over and over again. (That’ll scare the other clubs off). It was outrageously good fun for everyone involved. It was certainly party-time downstairs – the lads merrily drank their way through something in the range of 30 jugs, as well as a carton of long necks. However, anxious to preserve the condition of their make up, they did concede to drink through straws. 

  Special mention goes to the Frocs (can’t name all of them, you know who they are) who helped cook and serve the meal, set up, clean up, make up, and dress up. They collected money, they moved furniture, and most importantly - they fetched beer. Thanks also to the friends and girlfriends who helped coach the “ladies” throughout the night, and to Kristie Hume for the great photos (some of which are shown here). 

  As a closing note – we are lead to understand that Miss Burnside was held on the same night, and that Miss Onkaparinga was only recently crowned (shudder). Could it be that what this state needs is a Miss SARU?! 

... Tregenza Times September 2003

The judges.  Note carefully that last year's runner-up, Ben Suttell is dressed as a woman. 

Start of the makeup process

  
Downstairs

   
The day-wear category - Andre, Bren, Dean, Joel, Scott, Shane, Tim 

   
The evening-wear category - Bren, Dean, Joel, Julian, Paul, Shane, Andre

 
The swim-wear/lingerie category - Dean, Shane, Tim

Beer & celebrations upstairs

  
Tim & Dean - after the presentation of the winners

  On the night of Ms College, we were fortunate again to rely on the generosity of Dawn and Don Wilson who donated a lamb for the spit. Our thanks go to the Wilson family for their constant support of the club. For those who were not there for the home game, you will have missed the grand spectacle of the lamb violently ablaze, melting the roof of the balcony and billowing great clouds of smoke across the ground. It had to be put out with a fire extinguisher.   

  Fortunately, our resident fireman, Andy Dalton, was around and assured us the fire extinguisher would not damage/poison the meat. So, the soggy, blackened lamb was returned to the spit, and cooking was completed with no more dramas. It was, despite the ordeal, a great meal once finished. Thanks go to the Wilsons, to the Frocs for salads and serving, to Ray Butler for slicing and dicing, to Stewart for organising the spit, and to Muzza for the fire! 

  Special thanks from the contestants for the beer, kindly provided by Kim Evans until she ran out of money, and to those who just as kindly put in their cash afterwards.

  "I have recounted the following anecdote a couple of times since Saturday night.  Last year after the final contestant stepped off the stage, I had a quick word with the judges and the MC, and then went back downstairs, only to find they'd all changed back into their ordinary clothes already!  I couldn't convince them to go to the effort of dressing back up for the presentation. The year before, they did the same - but they at least eventually allowed themselves to be persuaded back into their evening wear for presentations and group photos. This year, having learned my lesson, I rushed downstairs as soon as I could to urge you all to stay in your lingerie, only to find that NONE of you had the slightest intention of getting changed. On the contrary, even wigs and shoes remained on as you danced about with each other, comparing outfits (and stories), demanding that your photos be taken and relentlessly singing the club song over and over again. The best year yet." ... Kim Evans

Miss College 2003  

Information for Participants 

1.             Your MC will be Graham Raymond.

2.             The Judges will be Tiana Hume, Mira Curran and Ben Suttell.  No threatening or bribing the judges!

3.             Please be ready by 9pm sharp.  You will be changing downstairs in the changerooms.  Yes, there will be beer.  Yes, there will be people to help you.

4.             There are three categories

·         Workwear/sportswear

·         Evening dress

·         Swimwear/lingerie

5.             You will receive a score out of 10 for each category from each judge.  The MC will chat with you while you are in Evening Dress and you will get another score out of 10 from each judge for your ‘personality’. 

6.             The winner and the runner up are the ones with the highest and second highest total (out of 120).  They win $100 and $50 respectively, as well as various gifts. There will also be a special award of “Miss Popularity” which is decided on a crowd vote. 

Last year's runner up and now a judge in 2003 - Miss Ben Suttell

Batting Order

6.00pm - 8.00pm Announcements, dinner and happy hour. 

8.00pm             MC starts the evening, introduces the judges and announces the program.

8.30pm             The Calcutta.  MC auctions off the competitors.  Audience members bid for who they think will win.  The person who “buys” whoever is crowned Ms College at the end of the night gets half the total proceeds.  (Last year Tiana Hume won more than $200). 

9.00pm             Round 1 – Sportswear or Workwear.

9.30pm             Round 2 – Evening Wear and “chatting” with the MC”.

10.00pm            Round 3 – Swimwear/lingerie.

10.30pm            Votes taken for “Miss Popularity”, and judges tally scores.

10.45pm            Winner and runner up  crowned. 

Shane Clark

Not content with breaking his leg, Shane Clark then loses his job.  Well, in all fairness, with a broken leg it's going to be difficult to keep a job going.  So, Muzza is organising:

Benefit for Shane Clark
Tregenza - after the home matches against Southern Suburbs
$20 buys you food and raffle tickets for a load of prizes.   

For those who asked ... Shane didn't have any cover and as a casual, he lost his job.
And a good night it was ... 

Old Collegians Open Golf

1st February 2004
$60 includes golf and lunch and on course drinks. Start planning now …
Sponsored by Pro-Time Business Solutions Pty Ltd

Going to Perth for South Africa v England (RWC)?

Let’s get together as Collegians for a weekend to remember in Perth during the RWC. 
If you haven’t organized your accom, transport and drinking routine, get in touch with Andre “Docta DRE” Brummer on 0413 575 072.

SA Rugby Mitsubishi Outlander 

OUTBACK BALL
Friday, October 24
A Black tie function at the Entertainment Centre to welcome to RWC to Adelaide.
Further details available soon.

Mitsubishi Rugby Luncheon

Adelaide Oval – Friday, 1 August 2003 - $95 Per Ticket – Three Course Meal and Drinks
Guest Speaker: Lt General Peter Cosgrove, Chief of Defence & 2001 Australian of The Year
MC: Chris “Buddha” Handy
All Proceeds go towards to Junior Rugby and Adelaide Central Mission
Call Marty Powell on 8202 5137 to book

Cricket

Are you wanting to maintain the links with the Club over the break? 
Do you love your cricket? 
Then why not play with the Old Colls Cricket Team during the summer break from Rugby. 
We need at least 20 (preferably 25) interested bodies. 
Why so many? well that allows the club to field a team when many might be away on a particular weekend or you might have something else on for any given day; so it allows much more flexibility. |
That way we can cater for those potential Pontings, Lehmanns or Shane Warnes (forget the performance enhancing substances) who are fanatical about their cricket or those who just want a bit of a slash & hit on a Saturday Arvo! 
Please see Mick Renfrey, Jesse James or Hamish Cranna ASAP so we can organise the Team and sort out the affiliation thing with PAC.

Karaoke Night July 12th 

Old Cols Sing It Loud!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
KARAOKE NIGHT 
July 12th 7:30pm (after the games at Burnside)

  13th July 2003: 
  Just so we're all clear on this, I am as of last night, Belinda's agent.  Is she good?  She is good.  We'll be missing the next few Saturday's football while Belinda plays out at the Wollongong RSL and Thirroul Leagues Clubs.  I failed to get Hamish to sign up as it appears the Church still has a contract on him, which is a great pity to me.
  Ben Suttell was another notable of the evening.  After 9pm it became too incoherent for me.  

  Ben Suttell was heard to remark that he could visualise Hamish in a white navy uniform when Hamish was singing his duet with Belinda of "Love lifts you up where you belong", the theme from a popular cinema feature of the 1980s.  Ben is a sick person.

Denzil turns 50

  He may not look it but Denzil recently reached the fair age of 50 early in July and celebrated the occasion with small group of friends and hangers-on at St Peters on Sunday the 6th of July.  



Eskimo Nell

  This website has had a number of enquiries about Eskimo Nell lately and in all cases a copy as been sent by return e-mail.  There's suddenly a return to poetry recitals in rugby clubs throughout the rugby-playing world or does this suggest a return to the moral values of generations past?  It's certainly a question for Trevor Kenny, one of the few, in fact the only,, person I know who can recite all 64 stanzas, drink or sober.

Fordey's farewell

  Fordey’s farewell at the Astor was loud, busy and merry – like Fordey himself. Peter has moved to the NT, and the usual suspects gathered for a few “quiet” ales to see him off. Fordey will be sorely missed both on and off the pitch.  No party is complete until someone is rushed to casualty. In this case it was our own Social Director, Emma Curran, who ended up with a broken wrist (or something like that). It seems she was dancing with Graham Raymond. He spun her energetically, but was distracted by Cam’s engaging conversation and forgot to catch her as she spun back. The Crocs were due to play their fiercest rivals, Onkaparinga at Onkaparinga, the next day. One drunk at the shindig was busily predicting that with the amount of beer being quaffed the Crocs’ lion-hearts would be playing mrowl when they should be playing RRROAR. (It loses something in prose.) In any event, with a pur or a growl they won, and we understand that they played particularly well. One mate described Fordey as playing “the game of his life”. He was still drunk and in borrowed boots.
... Tregenza Times, May 2003

Team Spirit

  There is a 'team spirit' night for the 1sts and 2nds at the Astor on Wednesday 14th of May at 7pm-8pm, cheap drinks, $10 food & schooner.

Pool night

  What a fantastic night! Firstly I want to say thank you so much to everyone who came along - your support means a huge amount not only to me, but more importantly to the club, and this has proven to me what we are capable of doing when we want to! 
So pat yourselves on the back all! 
  For those of you that were unfortunate enough not to of been there (I'm sure there was a very good reason), the rules were quite simple - 2 tables, 24 doubles teams, and a knockout competition. To make things a little more interesting, however, there were a couple of rules:- no swearing, no drinking or smoking over the table, no cheating and most importantly no arguing with the judge (because the judge was myself).  
  Any of the above resulted in the offender having to cough up a gold coin for the fine-tin. Thanks very much to Tedgie who was paying in advance for his, and for mum Meara, who with her eagle eyes, collected quite a tidy sum. 
  The most profitable game was no surprise, however, when Boof and Jack came up against Hamish and Ray - the club thanks you for your contributions in this round. Though some games went a lot longer than others we eventually got to the grand final. This again saw the Ben and Jack combo come up against new comers John and Chris - and whilst a close game, the newies were just no match for the veterans, and $100 richer they were. 
  Whilst I am yet to speak to Curtis, I am more than confident that the bar-takings would have been more than healthy if the unhealthy heads I witnessed the next day are anything to go by (my own included)! 
  So again, thankyou thankyou thankyou brilliant people for making Cue'n'brew such a fantastic night!
... Em, 5th May 2003

Chezza, Bren, Ben Hamer & Tom Secker

Ben Hamer goes ape-shit

Emma Curran & Nick Porter

 
Emma Curran, Kevin Jones with the tongue, Nick Porter at the back, John Craven and ?

Get Stoned

  The 60’s night at the club, to promote Stones Ginger Beer, was a great success. Thanks to Emma Curran, the club’s wonderful new Social Director, for her efforts. A number of the usual faithfuls donned wigs, beads and bad shirts in honour of the theme. Graham Raymond deserves a particular mention, for not only dressing up like a 60s pimp (complete with bad moustache) but also for going to the Mars Bar later that night in the same clothes. Dean Bradley showed up in a jacket that camouflaged well with the sofa (we hear it was his dad’s …). Bottles of Stones Ginger Beer (the Crocs’ new sponsor) went down well and in great numbers. Like the Bundy promotion last year, everyone had good fun but no one is entirely clear on the details …
... Tregenza Times April 2003

  As most of those at the 60s Night hadn't been born until long after the 1960s had ended they would not have noticed the sometimes frightening combinations of different decades of clothes thrown together with some that came into being only in 2003 from the imaginations of costume-makers.  And for those who lived in the 1960s, none of their old clothes would fit.  

Emma Curran, right, and friend Jaime, left

Stewart Douglas, Joyce Spry, Emma Curran, Paul Horne, Bren Sinnott

Joyce Spry, Ginny Bullen, , Ian Walker, Emma Curran, Maxine Walker, Meara Curran

The winner of the evening, Graham Raymond.

Emma Curran with Bec Manson, Ben Hamer, Jamie Brennan

Emma holding Meara up and with Kim looking to pounce.

Kim's cleavage (link to cleavage 2004)

Emma dancing the night away with Neil, with Tedgie and getting an agreeable ear-wash

Ben Hamer, looking not-so-good, with Jamie and Tedgie

... Photos courtesy Emma Curran's camera - as Emma is in a large number of them it's unlikely she actually took them

Motor Neurone Disease charity auction

Charity Auction for the Motor Neurone Disease Association 
Astor Hotel 7th March 2003 6.00pm for 7.00 pm 
Happy Hour 6-7pm - Pints $3.00/ Wine Champagne $2.50 
Music - Entertainment - Competitions all night - 
Admission $5 (includes raffle ticket) 
Auction items include sporting memorabilia, Clipsal 500 package, internet packages, restaurant vouchers, accommodation packages, sky diving, wine, beauty products & much more. 
For more information or if you can help by providing an item for auction contact Gary Fenner at MNDASA on 8357 0245.

Report on the Old Collegians' Open

  The Tanunda Golf Day was great fun. A BIG BIG thank you goes to John Denley for organising it, and congratulations for winning it! 
  There were 18 participants, all of whom enjoyed lunch, afternoon tea, drinks (and some golf) at the excellent value. The standard of golf was interesting. 
  One punter couldn’t decide whether to play left or right handed. We are looking to make this an annual event for the first Sunday in February. You’ve got twelve months to improve that swing …
... Tregenza Times, February 2003

Social

Our new Social Director, Emma Curran, is organising a variety of exciting activities for 2003, including a pool competition (of the cue and ball variety – you can leave your floaties at home). 
If you have any other suggestions, she would love to hear them. 
Emma's contact details: e-mail - emma.curran@optus.com.au; mobile 0403 326 521. 
Get in touch and let her know, or if you are shy you can drop a note in the suggestion box at the club.

Reports on Chinese New Year

  On 1st February the Club welcomed in the Chinese New Year for the third year in a row. More than 100 Chinese lanterns decorated the club rooms, and Chinese movies played on the TV all night long. As before, we had a healthy spread of roughly 200 club members, players, friends and neighbours. Traditional Chinese food was provided by the wonderful chefs, who have for the last couple of years hosted Boofy’s Yum Cha Recovery sessions on Sunday mornings. Despite catering for more than 100 meals, all food had been sold within 40 minutes. We are beginning to suspect the club has a case of locusts. 
  We were roundly abused by Chef Lau, who does not like to see people go hungry. Meanwhile, the Lion Dance stumbled and weaved through the club in a seemingly random path (a bit like Chezza) and delighted some children while terrifying others (a bit like Chezza). 
  The 15 minutes fireworks display, which blustery conditions nearly cancelled, was the highlight of the night. The club made a healthy profit over the bar, thanks largely to the merry appetites of our friends and neighbours, and we all greeted the Year of the Goat in grand style. 
  Thanks go to Kim Evans who has for the last three years organised and paid for the club’s Chinese New Year Party.

  Graham Raymond brought a most delightful friend of his from school.  No, not a student.  What are you thinking?  No, his Chinese teacher.  I am captivated.  Talk of eating deep-fried scorpions and things-that-clatter-along-the-floor-at-night certainly makes me hungry.  Meanwhile, I'd like to enroll at Loreto, if it's not too late for me. 
... PH

  Charlotte Porter looks just like her father, Nick Porter.  Being a new father can be very time consuming, Nick.  You should have more time in about 18 months or so.

Chinese New Year - 1st February 2003

Starts at 6-ish, Lion Dance at 7pm and Fireworks at 9pm.

The Old Collegians' Open

Venue

Tanunda Golf Club - Sunday 2nd February
Licenced bar in fully air-conditioned clubhouse
Allow betwee 1 hour and 1½ hours travel time

Format

9 hole stroke, teeing off at 9.30am
Lunch between 12.30pm and 2.00pm
9 hole Ambrose teeing off at 2.30pm

Everyone is welcome including good golfers
No handicaps necessary

Price

$50 includes:
Golf round with on-course refreshments
Lunch and after game snacks & prizes

Left & right hand club with buggy - hire available for $20
Buggies available without clubs for $4

Attire

Neat casual.  Flat-soled shoes (preferably golf shoes)
Sneakers are ok.  No heels please.
Hats & sunscreen recommended.

Indicate interest before Christmas to John Denley, 9 Cleland Avenue, Dulwich, 5065
Confirmation & any outstanding orders by Friday 17th January